Lessons in Life by Maggi Norris - Literature - Ask Nem5

LESSONS IN LIFE
© Maggi Norris & Mary Gunn - June 1, 2001

I had a conversation with my mother recently that I would like to share. It began because of a conversation I had with a friend, affectionately known as Jojo.

From me to Mom

This is a lesson I learned and that I have been asked to teach others. I had the privilege of showing this lesson to a wonderful man in Bombay, India today. He is a kind generous man who helps anyone anytime just because they ask. But he is not as kind or as generous to himself as he is to others. He is loved by everyone who meets him for his gentle strength and courage, and for the pure joy in living that he imparts to others. For me to see this man sad, really touched me.

The first lesson a person needs to learn is to care for themselves. If one does not care for themselves, they can never have the strength to care for or help another.

...Lesson Part 1 to Jojo

If you have a child stuck in a tree and you want them to come down. You ask them to jump into your arms. What happens? What do you do? Do you stand with your feet stubbornly together and try to save someone when you know you will both fall down? NO! You plant your feet wide apart. You brace yourself for the blow. You hold your arms wide and you smile to give them strength even when you may feel fear. Then you tell them to jump into your arms.

You see, if you don't plant your own feet firmly on the ground you wind up hurting both you and the child. Because, if your feet are not firmly planted, you will both fall to the ground and probably both be hurt. But, if your feet are planted firmly beneath you, then you have saved first yourself, and then the child, and thus you wind up saving both of you from harm. The choice is always there. Stand weak and watch everyone fall, including yourself. Or... Stand firm and strong and save yourself first, and you find the strength to save others as well.

...Lesson Part 2 to Jojo

When you fly they always give you a lesson about using the oxygen masks in case of an emergency. They tell you that if you are with a child or someone who can't put on their own mask, to ALWAYS put your own mask on before you try to help someone else put theirs on. The reason for that is very simple. If you try to put the other's oxygen mask on before you put your own on, the odds are that you will not be able to breathe long enough to help the other person. If you wait to put on your own mask, you may pass out from lack of oxygen before the other person's mask is ever on. If that person is not able to finish putting their own mask on, they will never be able to help you. So the odds are that you would both die. BUT if you put your own oxygen mask on first, you can breathe and you can then keep your strength to help those around you. You are able to help others because you helped yourself first.

...Lesson Part 3 to Jojo

What seems to be common sense in saving a child by planting your own feet firmly or putting your own oxygen mask on first, shows the truth of all of life. If you think about it, both lesson 1 and lesson 2 are the same thing. You must save yourself or you cannot save another. You must help yourself or you cannot help another. You must be strong inside or you will have no strength to give another. You must trust yourself in order to trust another. You must love yourself or you cannot love another.

All of life works this way. If you want to see true beauty in the world, you first have to see it inside. You have to believe in beauty to be able to recognize it. True beauty is within. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That is true because only those who are beautiful inside can ever see beauty in anything that is not a part of them. You are a beautiful person. How do I know? You see beauty in life, in living, in people and things. You would never be able to see beauty if beauty were not a part of you. You have to understand something to recognize what it is. You understand beauty, because you are beautiful.

From Mom to me

When you were a little girl you asked many questions, I'm glad I always did my best to give you truthful, honest answers, it shows today.

From me to Mom

I have often said I was very lucky to have a mother who was understanding of my infinite thirst for knowledge. I seem driven to learn, obsessed with finding out what makes things work. You always pushed me to do more, learn more, know more and to be more than I ever thought I could. I was a bit of a daredevil because of it. I did things that no one else would. I tried things. I went places. I saw new things. I read everything I could get my hands on. I drank knowledge like a man long in the desert drinks from a fountain. I was hungry for it. My mind was filled with thirst that only answers could ease.

The hardest lesson I ever had to learn was that I was OK. I had to learn to accept me. I would push aside the things I did not like about myself. I would blame my misfortune on fate or on others. In the end I realized that all my fortune, even the missed kind, were my own doing. That was not an easy lesson to learn or accept. You helped me open my mind to the truth. Not just the truth of what can be seen. You helped me realize that the greatest truth of all is that I am, and always will be, who I believe I am.

I have had many teachers throughout my life. I had one mother. I was very lucky. My mother had the strength to show me that joy is possible, no matter what life may bring. My mother was my first, and is still my greatest teacher. You found a smile for me no matter how bad things got. You held me when I cried. You loved me even when I was cruel. Even when you told me off, or spanked my bottom, you were teaching me.

You showed what true love means. It means you love without condition, without expectations and without remorse. You love because it is what you are and I can only believe in what you tried to teach me and try to make it a part of who I am too. I had a lot of time to think those two years I have lived alone. I believe things happened the way they did for a reason. My own subconscious mind probably pushed me to make it happen because I needed to learn. I needed to accept Maggi for who and what she is. I never did before then. I am still learning to accept all that I am.

Does this mean I am growing up? *smile* The more I grow, the more I realize I must hold on to my youth. Not the young body, or face. The truth of youth is the blessing we find in always seeing life as new. With youth comes a belief that things are always interesting, always alluring, intensely filled with possibility. I don't know whether I can hold on to that true youth, all I can do is believe and keep going and thank the stars for a mother who helped me see it all.

This morning has been an introspective adventure into the mind and soul. My conversation with Jojo began because he had an argument with his parents. He said the generation gap was tearing them apart. I told him to bridge the gap.

I remember when we had that gap between us. And somehow, time has helped us bridge it. We may never understand everything about the other, but we have found our common ground and have become comfortable with it and with each other. At least, that is how it seems to me.

So when I was writing this letter to you, I was also writing it to me. I was reminding myself of what I feel. *smile* I would like to show this letter to Jojo. I think maybe he needs to see that even when his parents do not agree with what he does, they still love him, the person inside. The same as you always loved me, even when I ripped your heart out and stepped on it.

From Mom to me

If you can help someone with the letter go ahead, it is a tribute to both of us.

The lesson I learned

The most important reason to teach another a lesson, is to learn it yourself. When I try to teach a lesson like this one to another, I am also learning it again for myself. I am seeing something new in the lesson. I am finding something new within myself.

By trying to help Jojo, I remembered how much I love my own mother and that life has not always been easy for either of us. But no matter what, I always had my mom. I always knew she loved me, even when we might argue. So my friend wound up giving all of us a gift when he came to me to find answers. Thank you Jojo and thank you Mom. I love you.

Literature Index
Prose Index
A Perfect Morning - Maggi
A Glimpse of Reality - Maggi
Ferris Wheel - Pete
Fuzzy Angel - Maggi
Impression - Maggi
Lessons in Life - Maggi

Memories in the Mist - Maggi
Morning - Maggi
Rhapsody en da Skyes - Maggi
The Colors of Emotion - Maggi
This Lonely Road - Pete
The Trouble With Waiting - Pete
There Are Times - Monika
Save the Light.org