When I woke up this morning, it was to hear the phone ringing... I ran to reach the phone, but did not make it. Then I heard a voice that always makes my heart beat faster. It's a wonderfully soft loving voice that makes me smile and always makes my days brighter. The message was short and sweet. "I love you, Mom... I need to ask you a question. I'll call back later."
So, of course, I called right back. She wasn't home. I had to call her cell phone. She was at the courthouse. My eyes must have gotten as big as saucers. She forgot how to spell my name... ok... maybe the saucers turned into plates.
The questions in my mind were multiplying at a phenomenal rate as I tried to wait patiently for her to tell me WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON in her own sweet time. I had to wait patiently while she got my life history... from birth! At my age... that's a lot of history.
Finally, she tells me they are there to get their license... the big one... bigger than driving at 16... the big forever license... my baby's getting married. I knew it was coming. I've known for over a year. Now... here it is... almost Christmas... and my baby's getting married.
I'M NOT READY! Not ready for what? To watch her be happy? To hear great joy in her voice? To see her have those babies of her own she always talked about? No... none of that... I've always been ready for all of that... I'm not ready for MY baby to grow up. She's 24 and she's still my baby. I just want to hold on tight and never let go.
All I've been able to think about is the quilt I started 15 years ago that still isn't finished. I started it to help get myself ready for this day. It didn't work! I'm still feeling like a dithering idiot!
I've spent the day going from tears that I just don't seem to be able to stop... to smiling till my face hurts... right this moment... I'm doing both... is this menopause?... middle age?... insanity? No... it's motherhood! I wouldn't trade it for anything!
Maggi Norris
November 13, 2003
A day to remember!
:-)
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