DEAR SIR
Dear Sir,
About my illicit behavior of the previous weekend, I suppose, I must confess something dreadful. I was stricken with a terrible disease. I have had it long enough that it had reached critical stage. I do believe, I may have had to do something drastic soon if a cure was not found. It is called lachonuke (pronounced lack-o-nooky). I hear it can bring down the strongest of men and, although, it is not supposed to be fatal in the female of the species, there have been instances that it has caused death. (ie: self-performed surgical procedures) Although, self-induced release of the fluids held in reserve by the human body that cause this sometimes fatal illness can relieve symptoms, it does not cure the disease itself. The only known cure for the debilitating disease is physical contact between two members of the species. The occurrence of spontaneous combustion in two humans suffering from the illness has been recorded frequently. This seems to occur more readily when both individuals have been suffering from the disease for a lengthy period of time.
I thank you for your aid in helping me find a cure for my own case of this terrible disease. I fear I may have been near the point of becoming one of those female statistics if your aid had not been so well tendered. Your assistance was noteworthy and your performance was well into the level of the adept. Further assistance may be required to keep the illness from reoccurring. I look forward to further endeavors with you in completely eradicating this terrible disease.
Sincerely,
Stricken© Maggi Norris 1999
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